love
Love is probably the topic that I ponder most in my day-to-day life (aside from travel/adventure).
Trying to organize and assemble my messy thoughts on love has proven to be much harder than I anticipated, so bear with me: here are my disassembled thoughts on love.
Love can be given to and received from anyone: boy, girl, friend, lover, husband, wife, sibling, parent, yourself. It has no rules or boundaries. Many people think it does; however, nowhere are there rules for love!
Love is difficult to receive for most. I haven’t quite worked this out yet, except that I think it has to do with thoughts of whether or not the love is deserved. My thoughts on this are that everyone is deserving of love, and it is important that we accept it in whichever way it is presented to us (whether that be physical, emotional, thoughtful gesture, gifts, or service). I think that when we don’t accept love that is given to us, it halts the cycle. It is emotionally harmful to both the giver and receiver when this happens. Something to work on…
Love is relatively easy to give for most. The problem comes when we think that the love we are giving is received in the same way that we receive it. This is an idea I am promoting from the book The Five Love Languages. This book illustrated for me, that people do not feel love as strongly in some areas as in others. It is so important to figure out how your loved one feels love the best, then cater to that! For instance, I feel love most in words of encouragement. Whether that be in cheers, pep talks, or letters (I love letters, have a whole box of them), that is how I receive love the best. Were someone to give me a gift, it would be lovely, but I wouldn’t feel as encouraged and loved as words make me feel.
Love has to be felt extremely deeply, and that has to be where all actions originate from. I realized this when I visited my Colorado home recently, which was accompanied by a long drive and chat with my mom (love those). Hearing about my parents’ relationship has opened up many viewpoints for me. They have such a powerful relationship. What I have learned, is that it stems from a friendship kind of love. This love has obviously blossomed over many years, to be more of the romantic love that it is now. Chatting with my mom, I was told that this love took time, patience, and work. Not exactly what I envisioned my fairytale love life to be like! But I have more respect for that kind of love. The love that is so true and deep and powerful.
Side note: they are now officially empty nesters now that my brother is off to college, and they are crushing it!! Trading off making dinners, picking new and fun activities every week, having quality conversations, and still the fun-loving couple I always remember.
So that’s what I do [think I] know about love… minimal at best.
What I don’t know, is how to love so much that this loneliness feeling I have being up here on my own goes away.
I THINK that it’s a time thing. Time will help me make solid relationships that are no longer surface level, and that I can really be vulnerable with.
I THINK that loving others on my end, the giving end, is a key component to grow in love in the best way possible, and to be open to creating those connections.
I THINK that love has all the answers, and that it takes sitting back and letting it do it’s thing to show that.
If any of you have the answers, or even thoughts on the topic, feel free to comment! I’d love the insight.
And yes, I’m still single. Yes, I go on the occasional date. No, I haven’t found my person up here in Northern Idaho.
So to finish with a quote from the woman that inspired this blog:
“The giving of love is an education in itself.”
~Eleanor Roosevelt
